The tears come streaming down my face—I
couldn't choke them back this time. What's the matter with me? I even
understand what she wants me to say! And the tears aren't helping my
pronunciation any either. I blubber out the answer, much slower than
I could have if I wasn't sniffling in between each of the words. I
have been prepared for this moment as a friend had once said learning
language can make even a grown man cry. I had believed her when she
said it, but the experience of it is awful. (For those who know I
don't like public speaking the feeling I get is almost the same. Its
like a two or three hour long speech every morning. )
I am assured there will be “ah ha” moments, though today is not one of them. I am reminded how much I had to study for a passing grade in school and I wonder can I do this? I have changed the phrase I use when I meet new people from “I am learning this language”, to “I am SLOWLY learning the language.”
My language helpers here sometimes say “it is easy, no?” They think (and they are probably right) that English is harder to learn. But that thought doesn't help so much right now because even if it is easy, it is stinking hard right now.
I understood what my friend who moved from Mexico to California told me about the difficulty in language and homesickness; I understood and knew it was worth it, but now I know so much more... my clear vision back then helps me see over this mountain of language now. There is a hope that someday I will be able to have deep and meaningful conversations with people who have become friends through the long months together. Though it seems miles away now someday I will stand on top of this mountain and do a little happy dance, singing some happy little song.
Today is not that day, but it will come.
I am assured there will be “ah ha” moments, though today is not one of them. I am reminded how much I had to study for a passing grade in school and I wonder can I do this? I have changed the phrase I use when I meet new people from “I am learning this language”, to “I am SLOWLY learning the language.”
My language helpers here sometimes say “it is easy, no?” They think (and they are probably right) that English is harder to learn. But that thought doesn't help so much right now because even if it is easy, it is stinking hard right now.
I understood what my friend who moved from Mexico to California told me about the difficulty in language and homesickness; I understood and knew it was worth it, but now I know so much more... my clear vision back then helps me see over this mountain of language now. There is a hope that someday I will be able to have deep and meaningful conversations with people who have become friends through the long months together. Though it seems miles away now someday I will stand on top of this mountain and do a little happy dance, singing some happy little song.
Today is not that day, but it will come.
No comments:
Post a Comment