Reservation for Two?

There were two empty seats at the table. Every day around 6pm we have meals together as a community and open our table to people we have been journeying with to come and join us. We can guess but we never really know who will stop by or when. This Friday night was no different. As we sat at the table with a big pot of chili in front of us, it looked emptier than normal with only one person from outside our community that comes certain nights, but the table was extended to the full length and set for extras. Nay said to us "come scoot closer together, no need to spread out" another said "we could take away those two empty spots" then Jayden (six years old) said daddy there are two more spots so we need two more people. We adults smiled ah the mind of a child, "your right Jayden," said Craig "we should pray for two more people."
The doorbell rang.
Our smiles faded for just a moment to allow our eyes to get wider as we looked at each other. Up the stairs with Jason came just that... two more people, our new friend Bernedette and her son it was the first time for her in our home. We all started to laugh as we invited them to sit and we thanked God for the blessings and the Lessons from a child.

What a reminder: Make too much food--Invite more people.

Personal Struggles and Inner Healing

Keeping Quite busy these days. From watering and tending the garden and hanging with the people we meet via the garden, our meals at the house, people coming through the house for prehab, planning showings for Holly (a movie about human trafficking in Cambodia we showed on July10), plotting for a Flash Mob over the injustices on the cruise ships that dock right here in Vancouver, pottery and going to new places for art with women from the DTES, and foot washing in the evening once a week for women on the streets at night; the days seem to fly by and i wonder where the time goes.
The back alley behind our apartments gets fairly noisy at nights these days, and i walk out our front door in the mornings to find people sleeping right next to our gate, not to mention that all through the day people crouch against the wall and walk the streets with no real place in mind. What i see saddens my heart, but hold on to hope that what i see is not God's design. This is an excerpt of what I wrote in my journal back in June:

“Where we stand effects what we see. Trying to fix things from afar or without a clear view can often cause pain. Jesus tells us to remove the plank out of our own eye first before we try to remove the speck out of our brother’s eye. The stories I hear make me realize every day that I walk around and have a choice; either to see clearly or to turn the other way and see only what I want. My prayer—Lord confirm Your truth in my life, turn my stiff neck in the direction You are looking that I may see you in the least of these…in the faces we consider hopeless.”
(June 10, 2009)

The past couple of months have been a real struggle, pruning and healing within my heart. Every day i am faced with who i really am, i see my own behavior and habits and how they either attract or push others away. i cannot turn a blind eye to how my daily habits affect those around me. Living in the light of God's heart for justice and mercy is not something to live out only when you feel like it or on the "good days" we have, but an every day lifestyle no matter the cost. Job knew this. I read the book of Job this past month as i have been working my way through scripture, and came across the last defense that Job gives of himself. It truly struck me though i have read it many times before, that Job lived out this life through thick and thin with God's upside down kingdom in mind, even when it was no benefit to him.

"Whoever heard me spoke well of me,
and those who saw me commended me,
because I rescued the poor who cried for help,
and the fatherless who had none to assist him.
The man who was dying blessed me;
I made the widow's heart sing.
I put on righteousness as my clothing;
justice was my robe and my turban.
I was eyes to the blind
and feet to the lame.
I was a father to the needy;
I took up the case of the stranger.
I broke the fangs of the wicked
and snatched the victims from their teeth.
"I thought, 'I will die in my own house,
my days as numerous as the grains of sand."

HE continues on talking later about how if he had ever turned away the hungry the naked or needy or widow then he cried out for some awful thing to happen to him. Now normally these words would not be the first ones i would choose as comforting words but i found that these words were the same as many other words God uses to speak his heart for the world. He has a special spot for the down and out and those being oppressed. His cry echos those found often in the Psalms and i find comfort in that The Lord Answers and cleanses and creates in us a new heart of flesh, a right spirit. He does not cast us away, but gives us by pruning and refining by tearing down and then rebuilding, and creating anew he brings us a real joy in the spirit, because no longer is the generosity and welcome, the mercy and justice we offer to others empty in meaning but it is the same that we ourselves have been offered.
As painful as it can be at times working through things we have kept buried for years the healing and fullness/ the abundance that flows out, spills into our relationships. The pain is not useless. I pray for my eyes to be opened wider than they already are...


Here at the house during our evening prayers sometimes we sing this Taize Song:
"The Kingdom of God is Justice and Peace,
And joy in the Holy Spirit.
Come Lord and Open in us
the Gates of Your Kingdom"

Praying that our presence here would be used as gates to usher in the least, (our neighbors that talk yell and scream in the back alley and the people that sleep by our front door, to your Upside down kingdom. Fill my heart Lord with your Hope and Joy in seeing your kingdom come here.