One of our friends we have been journeying with came by the office last week (I'll call him bob). Nobody was in the house so when he saw me in the office he came in. He asked if the other guys were home I said I didn’t think so, he asked if I had seen a mutual friend who now lives like we do in the area ("Shawn") —it had been a week and a half since I saw him. He plopped down in the velvet orange chair draping his legs over one arm and leaning against the other. “Have any canned food?”He asked. “Not here” was my reply. My mind was searching for info in the recesses of my mind to remember the last time I had seen bob—it was a few nights back … Bob was drunk at the time and a lot had happened that night… By the way Bob was acting I was becoming pretty sure food was not all that was on his mind. I gave him some packets of granola bar bites.
“you know Shawn and I are not on good terms now, he’s mad at me.” –Bob’s words interrupted my train of thought. "Yeah I know something went down between you two, but it is nothing that cannot be worked out if you go talk to him. It is not worth ruining a good friendship over.” He stared off into the distance. After a few awkward moments of silence he said “I’m in a bad spot, the worst I have been in. “ He again sat quiet. His gaze fell on the picture of Craig, Jonathan and David in there matching sweaters smiling and looking all chummy. “you know that is really what I want. What is there, in that picture, but I ruin everything I go near. Shame and guilt are my security.” We sat and in our silence. The words " ...All things Reconciled..." started playing from the CD of Music i had put on earlier… “shame and guilt really are not your friend you know, there are people here—Shawn, the guys in our community, the preachers you talk to, that care for you. We want to see you succeed; we want to see you whole, we are there for you. This guy Jesus who we all talk about that is why he came to give us freedom so that the fear and shame and guilt don’t have to be our companions…relationships are hard and it is a scary thing-- doing things that are not familiar to us, but we are cheering for you Bob, we want to see you free too, we want that friendship—but we cannot force you, it must come from you too. “ He started staring at his hands with an expression I could not read, his head ever so slightly nodding. Did I say too much I thought, was I too direct? God?
Bob stood up. I gotta go do something. I stood up. He gave me a light sided one hand hug,I began to appologize, “I know I just went off there a bit…”--“thanks Ruth", He interrupted.
“Yeah. See you around soon.” i said.
“yeah.” And out the door he went, as fast as he came. I hear the music in the background again “…and dwelt among us, and dwelt among us…”
As i look back on this last month i realize how frequently and seemingly random conversation and encounters happen in daily life. From this five minute encounter supposedly about canned food, to talking through the fence to people who pass by the garden, inviting them in and sitting on the picnic table with them listening to their words and stories, to filling up a water bottle, shaking a hand, giving a hug, even the attempts of throat singing and random jam sessions--All of these are daily life; They are also visible acts that have spiritual implications. In Servants we say "our vision is to see the urban poor and their communities transformed by the power of Christ." This is not just some spiritual goal we have set, but we follow Jesus Christ--Our God came and dwelt among us; He gave his living presence that is with us today. His example and His presence, are real and earthy. As i try to put words here to what i am thinking, i am gripping with my hands a chunk of air trying to describe the tangibility of something that is not contained in one image. (no wonder Jesus uses so many different parables and imagery to describe what the Kingdom of God is like.) Our hope for reconciling and transformation come from this same foundation, this stone. We are all surrounded by it Daily. Lord grant us eyes to see you and your growing Kingdom in the stranger, in our neighbour, the sick and the hungry.
